Not a ';true'; single mom?? WTH?

So, I was talking to a friend I haven't seen in a WHILE.... And I said something about it not being easy to deal with a baby, and being a single mom (although I DO have my parents' help, which I am eternally grateful for) doesn't make it any easier.





They replied with ';oh, you aren't a TRUE single mom since your parents help.';





I was under the impression ';single parent'; meant the other responsible (or not so responsible, as I haven't even heard from him! anyway...) party was NOT INVOLVED. Which Jamie's father is not.





So needless to say, I'm throughly confused.





What *is* a single parent, and what the heck was meant by that statement??Not a ';true'; single mom?? WTH?
Unless you dropped the baby off on you parents doorstep the day he was born and don't bother to feed him, cloth him or change his diaper, then you are a single mom!! You are the one who does all the work, no daddy, so you are a single mom! Even couples with children have their parents help!! Heck, I am married but my husband works so far away we see him 6 days a month! I wonder if I am not a part time single mom, if there is such a thing!! But I do have the emotional support, and that is a huge help!!Not a ';true'; single mom?? WTH?
Wow, talk about someone having a chip on her shoulder (not you, your friend). I'm sure your parents aren't with you and your baby 24/7. She was probably looking to be the one with the hardest time, some people need to have it worse than others.
you are a single parent with a great family! obviosly either this person does not have a child and doesnt realize how hard it is, or is a single parent and are putting themselves on some kind of peddastool cause there family wouldnt help. go you for sticking in there!! bump what other people have to say
I live with my parents and it is a huge help, but the sperm donor (he isn't worthy of being called my son's father) isn't involved, making me a single parent.





You are a single parent, Jamie's father isn't involved. Your friend is just misinformed (no offense to them at all!) Since your friend isn't a parent, they don't understand how tough it is being a single parent and what that actually means.





Yes, we live with our parents, and they help us out, but they don't get up all hours of the night to feed our children and change their diapers (my mom does once in awhile to give me some sleep) but for the most part it's us, because our children are our responsibility.





Oh, and I know i've said it before but, Jamie is SO CUTE!
That was your friend being a jerk and trying to find some way to make you feel negative. Either she's a single mom and is trying to make herself feel better, like she has it tougher than you and she wants to be stronger (You know the type, they want pity themselves and are stingy with giving it out)....or....she is not a single mom and is looking down on you for being one, and is avoiding sympathizing because she honestly thinks she has it worse than you and thinks you feel too sorry for yourself. Either way, I think she has a bad attitude and isn't much of a friend.





A single parent is someone who is wholly responsible for raising a child. If your parents are helping a LOT, such as providing a house for you and the baby and not charging expensive rent...as well as babysitting, feeding, buying the baby items, helping you when you need it, then I would say that your position really isn't that bad and your friend wanted to give you a reality check. If you and your baby are living alone, then your friend was just being snooty.
You are the only responsible one of Jamie's two parents, therefore you are a single mom.





Your friend is just wrong. Your parents could (not to say they would) stop helping you guys at anytime. You are his only parent in the picture, the only person who is truly responsible for him (although his dad should be too!) so you are a single mom.
I take ';single'; mom as a mom who isn't involved with anyone, hence the single part. some are ignorant, let it roll of your shoulders, best luck
you are a single mom because you are in every sense of the word, you are a mom and are single (or at least not with the father, single) you just have extra help. I was raised the same way when I was a baby, although I did have my dad in my life a little then and now I am a freshman in high school and my time is split between both parents.
I consider a single mother to be an unmarried woman with a child. She could have a boyfriend who helps or not, live with her parents or not, etc.





And she's an idiot really. So any ';help'; can make you less of a parent. If that's the case married parents living with their parents or accepting help of ANY kind are also not true parents right? She's a moron, ignore her
That is probably (no offense to your friend here) one of the stupidest statements I have ever read! What is a single mum supposed to do? Survive with no help?Struggle through with no free time? lol.





To me your a single mum, and I would think most single mums have their parents help them out once in a while! Very few do *everything* by themselves.
I agree, that is silly. She is probably just resentful of you because maybe her parents aren't helping her or she feels that you have more help than she does. You are a single mother if the child's father isn't involved, and you are indeed a lucky single mother if you have a family that is helping you out. :)
single parent is when your baby's father is not living with you or like you said never hurd of him.


if you live on your own with your kids then you are a single mother don't listen to what your friend says
I have always thought that a single mother is a mother who raises her childran by herself. I know a lot of single mothers who have their whole families helping them. If the father is not involved you are a single mother.
This person probably meant you shouldn't be complaining because you have some help. I am assuming she meant that a ';true'; single parent does everything all on their own.





I think that is an ignorant comment for your friend to make. You are a ';true'; single parent as your baby is your responsibility alone since the father has not contributed. I am sure your parents do help a lot but when it comes down to it they are just grandparents- that doesn't take the place of a missing parent.





Somebody ought to slap her into next week for being so stupid! Sounds like she has no children and doesn't know what it is like.
You are. If only 1 of the parents is raising the child they are then, a ';single parent';. It doesn't matter if you are getting help from others. Most single parents do get help if they have any sort of support system. I think I would have laughed at your very presumptuous ';friend'; for being so naive.
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I think what's she is saying is you're not the only parent because your parents help you.





But parents are grandparents. YOU are the parent. I used to hear rude comments like that all the time. Get's really annoying.
You are a single parent, don't listen to idiots. I am a single parent too, although both me and my best friend raise her child and my child together.
i have never heard somone to refer to a single parent as one being ';true'; or ';untrue';


single parents are single parents. some have it a little harder, becuase they don't have the help of parents. sometimes, having the help of parents , or having to live with them, can be a problem in itself.
You are still a single mom, she just sounds like one of those people that wants to make everyone else feel bad about themselves. I have an old friend who is like that. No matter what you say, she has to downplay it or demean you. Like when I said I was thinking of taking a few college courses her immediate response was, ';You will never be able to handle it with a baby.'; Real supportive, huh? lol





I think she just said it to be mean. You are very lucky you have your parents help, but that doesn't mean that your child has two involved parents. Just ignore her.
thst has got to the stupidest statement regarding parenting i have ever read. if you don't have a husband/boyfriend helping you with the kids ur a single mother period doesn't matter if ur whole freaking family is helping ur still a single mom
your friends don't have kids so they don't understand that single parent is a single parent if they aren't in a relationship with the father or mother of their children/child I don't think you should worry about it unless they bring it up again and if they do tell them '; hey I am a single parent because Jamie's father isn't present';
I'm not a single Mom, but I would say you are a Single Mother if you don't have a husband. Even if the Father is an ex and still involved with taking the child on weekends, etc. Your still a single mom. Parent's helping out doesn't count. They are the parents to the child.
By definition, a single parent is is a parent who cares for one or more children alone or without the assistance of another parent in the home. So it does make you a single parent if Jamie's father is not involved, but I think you're friend is thinking of the 'assistance' part as your parents helping you, therefore it's not only you taking care of the baby. Either way, it's mean for her to say that since you are taking care of the baby no matter what.
Even if the child's father was involved, if you two are not married, and you are single, that makes you a single parent. My mom watched my daughter for me when I went to Iraq for a year, and when I came back, I was still a single parent. Some women are just blessed to have other people in their lives to help with their children and not have to do everything on their own. Not everyone is that blessed. So I say bump what your friend says. Statements like that are ignorant.
They are not accurate.


Having your parents or any family member is a help, but they are not there all the time.


You are the main sole provider, and caregiver. You get them up in the morning, make sure they are bathed and fed. Who takes them to the doctor when they are sick?


If the father is not in the household in which the child spends most of their time.


You are a single parent.





That individual is not being sensitive to your situation. If and when they have children, they may hav more in site on this. It is a tough road and I commend you.
You are a single mother. Since your babies father is not in his life, you need to be able to depend on your family. I'm sure you are a great mother. Keep up the good work. I would reevaluate your friendship with the friend that said that to you. Or maybe, give her a call and clarify the meaning of a single mother.